We are living in a new era. The 21st century is upon us and nothing is the way it used to be. Children grow up much faster than we did, and it is not uncommon for babies to have babies. Years ago it was shameful for a young girl to have a baby. They were often sent away to have their babies in secret, or worst yet, have an abortion. Now it is different. Our young people follow the example of the stars who have children first and wed later, only to divorce and continue a destructive cycle and we are left to wonder.
Teenagers have a say in all aspects of their own life and are often consulted for their opinion in the many choices they have to make. This is not a bad thing but I wonder where it stops.
I had always promised myself that my children ( if I was fortunate to have any) would never suffer the indignities that I did. They would never be ashamed of who and what their parents were or where they came from. I would never take out my frustration on them in a physical, mental or emotional manner. Their lives would be full of plenty and I would always stand guard, guardian at the gate.
My daughter is only 11 years old and I have remained faithful to the promises I made. There is plenty of plenty and as an only child I indulge her; it is her right and my promise. Tonight she asked, as she had many times, for a girlfriend to spend the night. If you have read my blog in the past you know that at any given time there is a small army of girls camping out in my home, basking in the glow of adolescence, lounging with indifference as only tween girls can.
But tonight I said it was not possible. I said "No". I saw her change before my very eyes, the attitude adjustment, the questioning look, and worst of all, the hand on the hip. Again, this is typical adolescence behavior. But it jolted my heart because I have always said "yes", "o.k.", and "sure". I have fed the masses and taxied them home, to the movies and the park. I have been better than good and she knows that. What happened??
We were able to work through this event and she apologized for her behavior. I went to bed a little shaken but this too shall pass. I tell of this incident because I try so hard to be the "good" mom. To fill each and every need, to go above and beyond the call of duty. What did I do wrong??
I know that parenting is not easy but our children are gifts. Our patience is tried more than often than we care to admit but the difference is we are the grownups and it is our job to take charge in a grownup way. And so I do. And so do you. Tomorrow we will pick up where we left off.
And keep on doing what we do best.
Teenagers have a say in all aspects of their own life and are often consulted for their opinion in the many choices they have to make. This is not a bad thing but I wonder where it stops.
I had always promised myself that my children ( if I was fortunate to have any) would never suffer the indignities that I did. They would never be ashamed of who and what their parents were or where they came from. I would never take out my frustration on them in a physical, mental or emotional manner. Their lives would be full of plenty and I would always stand guard, guardian at the gate.
My daughter is only 11 years old and I have remained faithful to the promises I made. There is plenty of plenty and as an only child I indulge her; it is her right and my promise. Tonight she asked, as she had many times, for a girlfriend to spend the night. If you have read my blog in the past you know that at any given time there is a small army of girls camping out in my home, basking in the glow of adolescence, lounging with indifference as only tween girls can.
But tonight I said it was not possible. I said "No". I saw her change before my very eyes, the attitude adjustment, the questioning look, and worst of all, the hand on the hip. Again, this is typical adolescence behavior. But it jolted my heart because I have always said "yes", "o.k.", and "sure". I have fed the masses and taxied them home, to the movies and the park. I have been better than good and she knows that. What happened??
We were able to work through this event and she apologized for her behavior. I went to bed a little shaken but this too shall pass. I tell of this incident because I try so hard to be the "good" mom. To fill each and every need, to go above and beyond the call of duty. What did I do wrong??
I know that parenting is not easy but our children are gifts. Our patience is tried more than often than we care to admit but the difference is we are the grownups and it is our job to take charge in a grownup way. And so I do. And so do you. Tomorrow we will pick up where we left off.
And keep on doing what we do best.
No comments:
Post a Comment