The Next Step

After I posted my first blog last night, I felt energized, as if I were doing a good thing for myself and all of us.I know it will take some time for you, my sisters and I, to come together, but when we do, we will create a community of sharing and healing. We will know that we are not alone and that the sometimes sinister issues that we continue to battle on a daily basis are not uncommon for the hell that we lived through.

I told you yesterday that I have an 11 year-old daughter. She is at that stage in her life where her friends are the most important thing. Her thumbs cramp up from texting, and no technology is too difficult to master in five minutes. The Jonas Brothers rule; there are dances and parties to attend and sleepovers which always seem to take place at my house. Come Friday at 3:30, I am picking them up and ordering pizzas.They storm my house like soldiers on the beaches of Normandy, eager to continue the dramas that were played out in school today.

I am grateful for her popularity; their laughter as it rains down in thunderous claps. I am happy that she is happy and more importantly, that I can provide that haven for her. I have told her how fortunate she is and I know she understands.

As a child I had no friendds. At school I begged for candy because I had no money to buy any. I dreamed of tall crates of money which I believed would solve my family's problems and perhaps make my mother a nice person. She would not call me a bitch and slut and punch me in my little 6 year old mouth, the salty red blood falling in large drops on the floor.

Tonight I made chocolate chip cookies for my daughter and her friends. The pizza long gone, they grabbed handfuls as they readied themselves to go home. They tell me that I am such an awesome mom, and I am. I really am.

Till later,

Andy